That's Not Where I Hid Me Gold!
by Angelustatt
Summary: Dean and Sam encounter trouble with pirates. Short crackfic that was written as a dare for a mate.


_Author's notes : Pirate song comes from a Garfield cartoon. Mellie, this fic is for you!!_

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___**Sixty men all lost at sea, all of 'em drunk except for me.**__  
____**'Twas I alone to face the storm, nothin' in sight to keep my warm.**_

___**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Over the raging sea we go!**__  
____**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Wherever the fore wind blow!**_

" Shut the hell up!" Dean Winchester bellowed out the driver's window of the Impala, pushing his beloved car harder, wanting to get away from what was chasing them. Because the fact it was behind them at all, never mind the constant damn cacophony of singing coming from it, was enough to make him want to crawl in a bottle of Jack and never come out. Although maybe rum would be more appropriate as Dean looked in the rear view mirror and saw the Jolly Roger still waving in the reflection. "Dammit! How the hell is it still following us, Sam? We're nowhere near water…haven't been for at least the hundred miles!"

" Are you serious, Dean? It's a freaking ghost ship, dude…somehow I don't think the lack of water is an issue right now." Sam looked over his shoulder at the huge black galleon chasing them along the highway, easily keeping pace with the black Chevy.

___**The storm grew worse, I fought the wheel, I felt the shudder of the keel.**__  
____**The lightning streaked, the thunder boomed. I knew that I had met my doom.**_

___**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Over the raging sea we go!**__  
____**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Wherever the fore wind blow!**_

" Shut up!" Dean yelled again, suddenly jerking the wheel hard to the left as a cannon ball shot over the car and exploded on the road in front of them. " Son of a bitch!"

Sam threw his brother a sharp look. " Dean…those coins we found back at that beach, you didn't take any, did you? When we burnt the trunk…you put all the coins back in, right?"

The silence that greeted Sam, if you could call it silence with a ship load of singing pirates right behind you, told him all he needed to know. Rolling his eyes, Sam punched Dean hard in the upper arm. " Dean! What the hell were you thinking?"

" It's a doubloon, Sammy! Those things are worth a freaking fortune!"

" Those things are what the pirates died burying, you jerk! They won't stop til they have them back!" Sam yelled, exasperated with his brother's stupidity.

_**Down below the music played, but faithful to my task I stayed.**__  
__**Above the Jolly Roger flew, 'cause piratin' is what we do.**_

_**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Over the raging sea we go!**__  
__**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Wherever the fore wind blow!**_

Dean wanted to head butt the steering wheel at that point. He reached over and cranked the stereo, Black Sabbath filling the car. Another cannonball whizzed over head and Dean barely avoided it. " Aw come on! Watch the freaking paintwork!" The sudden slewing of the car, made it hit the gravel and skip a few feet across the blacktop, before Dean wrestled her back under control again. Warbled music filled the air. Dean punched the eject button on the stereo and the cassette shot out, followed by about a foot of chewed brown tape. " Son. Of. A. Bitch!"

Sam leaned over and dug into Dean's leather jacket.

" Dude, hands! Hands in all the wrong places! Get the hell off me!"

" Shut, up, Dean. Where'd you put the coin?

Dean shoved Sam away from him, scowling, before the look became a full blown pout. " Oh alright, alright…here." He pulled the coin out of his inside jacket pocket and handed it to his brother.

Sam threw the coin out of the window and watched as it looped through the air before a hand shot out from the ghostly ship to catch it. " Okay…that should be it."

Another cannonball flashed past the car and again, it was Dean's driving skills that saved them.

" Dean? You only took the one, right?...Right??" Sam demanded, holding out his hand to him.

Dean stuck his lip out further, looking more like the four year old Sam had seen in photos. He dug into his pocket again and handed over another coin. " There. That's it."

He saw the look Sam was giving him and looked indignant. " That's all I had, Sam! Now throw the damn thing out the window before we become a figurehead!"

Sam threw the coin and breathed a sigh of relief…..for all of three seconds before the singing continued behind them.

___**The mainmast creaked, the rudder groaned, against the railing I was thrown.**__  
____**The ship was tossed about the sea, saving us all was up to me.**_

___**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Over the raging sea we go!**__  
____**Yo, ho, ho, ho! Wherever the fore wind blow!**_

"Dean?"

" What? I gave you the coins, dude. That's it…I'm clean. I swear."

" Dean!"

" What?"

Sam turned in his seat and lifted up the tiny little figure of a moth-eaten, ratty looking, semi-skeletal monkey. The monkey was wearing the remains of a vest and screeched pitifully at Sam, lashing out with a paw. Sam dropped the monkey with a yelp and watched in disgust as it rushed over to Dean and curled up on his brother's shoulder.

" Oh….him. Ain't he cute? I thought we could keep him, you know, since we never had a pet when we were kids. Come on, Sam. Haven't you always wanted a pet? And a monkey, dude! How cool would that be??" Dean was grinning like a kid.

" I can't believe you…" Sam muttered, shaking his head. He reached out and grabbed the monkey, throwing it out his window a moment later.

"SAM!" Dean yelled, looking wildly in the rearview mirror and watching as another hand shot out of the ship to grab the monkey, before the ship faded from view altogether. He sighed and slumped in his chair. " That wasn't nice, Sam. That little guy liked me."

"That little guy was a freaking ghost, Dean. You want a pet? We'll stop by a shelter and get you a puppy." Sam argued.

" And have dog hair in my baby??" Dean looked at Sam, horrified he could even suggest it.

" Oh but the monkey was okay?"

" Well yeah…it didn't shed real hair." Dean shrugged easily.

" We are not having this conversation." Sam sighed, folding his arms over his chest and wishing the stereo was working. " Next motel we find? We're stopping. I need a shower and about 3 days worth of sleep."

" Fine, bitch."

" Jerk."

Silence fell over the pair for a while, until Dean began humming...the sound building until it formed into a song, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel. " Sixty men, all lost at sea…..oh son of bitch!!"

The End…..


End file.
